I take back everything I said about communal showers
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
