Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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