Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
