Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
