New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
it glows. i had to have it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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