i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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