He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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