you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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