I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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