Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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