and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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