both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
