The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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