worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
