found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
