next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
