It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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