she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
