Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize