My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
