I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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