remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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