Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
