she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
