He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
