Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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