Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
