Little spoons don't ask big questions
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
