Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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