So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
