i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
