The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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