Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
