This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize