Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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