the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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