You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
