You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
