At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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