is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If I die, sorry about rent.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
