You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You've changed since you got that strap on
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
