But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
