Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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