the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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