I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
