But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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