woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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