I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
