The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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