Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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