And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I am midnight drunk by noon
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
