there was a trapeze. enough said
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
