covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
