i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize