just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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