apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
