I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Everyone says I win the strip club
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
